Thursday, March 27, 2008

Back to reality?


I think my current state of mind can best be described as numb and out of phase. What I mean, is I am back home, without the decision on the adoption I thought we would have, feeling kind of out of touch with what would be considered my "normal life".

Again, for those who don't know, the decision about the boy we are hoping to adopt, Omar, will not be made for another 11 days, and counting. If you don't know, Omar is in foster care in Colorado and the state has moved to permanently terminate his parents' rights to him. If they make that decision, then we will will likely be his adoptive home.

I just spent five days in Colorado, a day in the courtroom observing testimony, and the next three days around the courtroom, waiting for the foster mom to provide me highlights of that day's testimony. It's a long story, but to avoid any conflict of interest, Omar's attorney thought it best I not be present during testimony. So, I sat out Tuesday and Wednesday.

The up side of sitting out the testimony is I spent much of that time hanging out and bonding with Omar. We had a great time, laughing and playing, watching movies and reading books. Beth decided on a whim to join me in Colorado on Wednesday and she I and took Omar to the park and out for ice cream. We had a great time with him!

We were hoping for a decision by the end of the three days, but testimony and closing arguments took up all the scheduled time, so the judge won't have time again on his docket until April 7 at 10AM. That is when we find out.

Signs are positive the decision will go our way and we are holding onto hope. But, for me anyway, their is a lot of numbness that goes hand in hand with the hope.

Thankfully, there are quite a few distractions for me in the next 11 days. I have my two day weekend class tomorrow and Saturday. Sunday I am going to get caught up on all the yard and house work I neglected over the last five days. Monday is our big awards event at United Way, which will last much of the day. I have several donor meetings throughout the week, a three year old's birthday party next Saturday, and then Beth and I see Bill Cosby at the Chandler Center for the Arts on Sunday evening.

Monday morning, the decision will be made. It seems like a long, long way away.

Yes, I am hopeful, but I am also quite scared. As I said in an email, "We want him to be in our lives. We want to nurture him and support him as he grows and finds, in each moment and in each year, what it means to be his full beautiful self. Not getting him is much more than closure, it is losing the boy we are beginning to love as our son. We have put our hearts on the line, which some might caution against, but Beth and I have never gone into anything half hearted, and we don't intend to change now."

Beth reminds me that there will be no new testimony and no new evidence in these next 11 days and that the judge seemed to indicate, in his closing comments, that he would rule in a way favorable to us. But, as I also put in an email about the case, it ain't over till it's over, and it ain't over.

So, until it's over, I will probably be pretty numb, positive, but scared. Continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. And thank you, everyone for your support.

All my best,

Aaron

4 comments:

  1. Too bad you can't sent the judge the photo of you three, he'd have to rule in your favor! You three make quite the cute family unit.

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  2. Yeah, I thought for a moment (I saw Omar first) that all three of you would be winking! But apparently it was his own unique addition to the photo shoot.

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  3. Aaron,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Beth and Omar. He's a beautiful little boy!
    Aunt Donna

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