Wednesday, June 25, 2008

On emotive posts

Sometimes, a feeling overcomes me, and in the moment, I post that feeling on the blog; like my previous post. I am a feeling driven guy, as you most know, and I like writing about my feelings.

When it is a feeling I especially identify with on a regular basis, like "envy" or "what's missing" or "not enough", I am even more likely to write out the feelings because they spring easily from my fingers onto the screen. Familiarity builds fluency.

Sometimes though, I wake up the next morning and read the post, or revisit it later that day, and realize that what I wrote might represent a snapshot of what I was feeling in that moment, but it doesn't represent what I am feeling holistically. In those cases I wonder if I should take down the post.

One, I like people to have an accurate representation of my mental/emotional state on the big picture level, the moment by moment is less important. In this case, overall I am not feeling "life isn't enough"...maybe in some areas of my life, but not holistically.

Two, maybe because I am not feeling "envy" in every or most aspects of my life, I read it and it seems a little whiny. It's like, "Oh, there I go again, poor me, life isn't enough, life is never enough - drama, drama, drama!" =)

And so I think about taking down the post. But I am not going to. It obviously is now a moot point because I am using the previous emotive point as an example in this post. So taking it down would make no sense at all. And I think, it was real and honest in the moment I wrote it. And honesty is an important part of creativity and an important part of being a deep romantic boy.

So I leave it.

And then I think, "Who really cares, I gotta get ready for work." And I move on...

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